


Pyre

by CastielWinchester96



Series: Deaf!Sam Verse [46]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: 2x02, Angst, Deaf, Deaf Character, Deaf Sam, Deaf Sam Winchester, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s02e02 Everybody Loves a Clown, Hurt/Comfort, Tag to 2x02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-08
Updated: 2018-04-08
Packaged: 2019-04-20 00:48:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14249460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CastielWinchester96/pseuds/CastielWinchester96
Summary: Sam and Dean say goodbye to John, and the brothers struggle to connect with each other during their grief. Bobby tries to keep his boys afloat.





	Pyre

**Author's Note:**

> " " - indicates speech  
> ' ' - indicates signing

Dean was stood, hands buried in the pockets of Dad's old leather jacket as they watched the flames rise around the body of their father.

Sam watched as his brother looked on, expression almost blank. As for himself, the youngest Winchester's cheeks were drenched with tears, Sam struggling to keep a handle on his emotions compared to Dean.

Sniffling, scrubbed a hand down his face.

"I sorry, Dad."

Dean's head flinched ever so slightly at what Sam guessed were some of the shakiest words he'd ever spoken, turning the slightest amount in the direction of his brother before stilling, gaze still staying on the pyre.

Unable to contain his emotions any longer, Sam broke down, hand covering his mouth as he sobbed painfully.

* * *

**two weeks later**

Sat against the porch steps, Sam took a swig from a large bottle of whiskey he'd grabbed from one of Bobby's cabinets earlier.

Grimacing at the taste, the youngest Winchester jumped as he felt a hand rest on his shoulder. The bottle was plucked from his hand before Bobby came into view.

"You know you're not supposed to be drinking on those meds. Not that you've taken them, though. Care to explain that?"

Sam didn't say anything.

"Is this you trying to punish yourself? Sam, you didn't cause that crash, the demon did."

"I should have seen. I should have known. I could got us out way."

"It was black dark and you never could've avoided that truck the speed it was doing, not in the amount of time you would've had to react."

"I nearly kill D'n, and..." Sam took a breath. "And I kill Dad."

"You were in that crash too."

"So?"

Bobby looked taken aback.

"Don't you ever say that again, boy. You hear me?!" He shouted. "Your life is not worth anything less than anyone else's!"

"Dad had sell own soul 'cause I land D'n in hospital in critical condition. There were reaper after him and I not stop it. So what exactly I good for? 'Cause I not save either of them..."

"You're being too harsh on yourself."

"Am I? 'Cause I feel like I deserve this." Sam stated. "Anyone who cause something like this would be expected to feel like this and would be blame for what they did. Why not I same just 'cause they my family? If anything, it worse, 'cause they my family."

Bobby sighed.

"Could this have something to do with your brother?"

Sam looked sheepish, clearly considering whether to say anything or not.

"Sam?"

"He not said word to me since that night." He answered, quietly. "He hate me, B'by."

"Dean doesn't have that in him. Especially not for you. That boy would go to the end of the earth to make sure you're okay. You should try talking to him."

"He not listen."

"How would you know? You haven't tried."

"Even though I blame myself for this, I not know if I could stand there and watch him do same." Sam looked down, playing with his fingers in anxiety. "I not have many fears, but one that scare me most is to be alone... I just... I can't... I won't... I'd rather die."

"Sam..." Bobby began softly.

"If D'n reject me, I would have nothing. But I would understand why he would do it."

"Your brother is loyal, he wouldn't throw you out for something like this, regardless of the circumstances."

"I kill Dad!"

"You told me yourself that you think he made a deal back in that hospital with the yellow eyed demon in exchange for Dean's life. How exactly did you have any control over that?"

"He not have to do it if I not nearly kill D'n."

"What do you want me to say, Sam? Because if you want me to throw you to the curb, then that ain't ever happenin'."

"B'by..."

"I ain't cutting you out, boy, not ever. You mean too much to me, you and your brother."

And that's when Sam broke down, harsh sobs racking through him as he buried his head in his hands.

Bobby reached out an arm and wrapped it around the youngest Winchester's shoulders, pulling him softly against his side with a reassuring squeeze.

He looked up.

'You stuck with me'

'Promise?' Sam quipped a small smile.

'Promise'


End file.
